You Could Smell My Ass From Mars.

I've Been Involved In Mixed Martial Arts Since 1997 When I First Started Working For The Ufc.

If You Haven't Peed The Bed, You Haven't Taken Enough Chances.

I'm Really Happy That I've Been Able To Make People Laugh And Distract Them From Their Day To Day Bullshit At A Comedy Show Or Because They Enjoyed One Of My Cds Or Tv Specials, But I Don't Know How Many People Have Actually Had Life Changing Thoughts Because Of It.

You Are One Miniscule Piece Of A Never-ending Cycle. In Fact, You're Not Even A Piece. You're Just A Holder For Billions And Billions Of Other Pieces. Whether That's Organic Components, Living Organisms Inside Your Body, Bacteria Or Whatever It Is, You're Just Part Of The Soup Of The Universe, So Just Try To Enjoy What's Good About It.

I Wouldn't Totally Rule Out Doing Letterman Or The Tonight Show If I Had A Set That I Just Happened To Write That I Thought Was Funny But Was Still Appropriate For Network Censors. But I'm Not Going To Go Out Of My Way.