You Could Do Anything In Your Room

According To A New Book Coming Out By A Pulitzer Prize-winning Author, Apparently When He Was In High School, President Obama Smoked Large Amounts Of Marijuana. You Know What That Means? He Could Be Our First Green President.

The Difference Between Men And Women Is That Men Love The 3 Stooges, And Women Think They're Assholes.

I Went To See The Terminator Movie The Other Night. Every Time Arnold Schwarzenegger Came On The Screen This Guy In Front Of Me Went 'booo! Booo!' And Was Throwing Stuff. I Had To Say 'governor Davis Just Shut Up And Sit Down!'

When You Do Late-night Tv, You Do Different Jokes In The Same Place Every Night. When You're On The Road As A Comedian, You Do The Same Jokes In A Different Place Every Night.

As We Watched Judge Clarence Thomas's Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings, All Of The Commentators Said The Same Thing: 'one Of These People In The Room Is Lying.' Do You Believe That? You've Got Two Lawyers And 14 Senators In The Room, And Only One Of Them Is Lying?