You Can't Lie To Kids About Drugs.

I Think The News People No Longer Have Any Idea Of What Covering The News Is.

Russia Has Banned All Adoptions To Americans. So, If You Were Hoping To Get A Little White Kid With Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, You're Going To Have To Wait Until Lindsay Lohan Reproduces.

Iraq Now Says That It Will, After All, Destroy Its Missiles. President Bush Said, 'please, I Used To Pull The Same Trick. There'd Be An Intervention, I'd Make A Big Show Of Pouring Out The Liquor And Then There Was A Case Under The Floorboards.'

Saying Someone Is Religious Is Heard In Most Of America As A Compliment, A Reassuring Affirmation That Someone Will Be Moral, Ethical, And After A Few Glasses Of Wine, A Freak In The Bedroom.

Idiots Must Stop Claiming That Atheism Is A Religion. Religion Is Defined As The Belief In And Worship Of A Superhuman Controlling Power. And Atheism Is… Precisely Not That. Atheism Is A Religion Like Abstinence Is A Sex Position