You Can't Get Saved If You Don't

My Father Said, Bring Along Your Best Girl. This Is Something You Say To A Pimp!

If The Nra Keeps Messing With The President's Daughters, They're Going To Have To Start Worrying About Michelle Obama's Guns.

I'm Against Suing Tobacco Companies. I Think Abstinence Is A Perversion. I Think Bush's Lies Are Worse Than Clinton's. I Think Vegas Was Better When It Was Run By The Mob. I Think Men Are Only As Loyal As Their Options. I Think Stereotypes Are True And Rehab Is For Quitters.

To Me A Real Patriot Is Like A Real Friend. Who's Your Real Friend? It's The Person Who Tells You The Truth. That's Who My Real Friends Are. So, You Know, I Think As Far As Our Country Goes, We Need More People Who Will Do That.

During The Depression, Or Back When We Were Fighting Hitler, People Didn't Have Time To Sue A Company If The Coffee Was Too Hot. There Were Urgent, Pressing Problems. If You Think You Have It Tough, Read History Books.