You Can't Fake Comedy - It's Not

When A Musical Act Performs, The Black Audience Goes Crazy For All The Stuff, The Album Cuts, Everything. White Audiences, They're Nice And All, But They're Not Going To Lose It Until They Get The Hits. Comedy Is The Same Thing.

If You're Black, You Got To Look At America A Little Bit Different. You Got To Look At America Like The Uncle Who Paid For You To Go To College, But Who Molested You.

So, To Say Barack Obama Is Progress Is Saying That He's The First Black Person That Is Qualified To Be President. That's Not Black Progress. That's White Progress.

Farrakhan Got Everybody Together For The Million Man March And Everything. But Farrakhan Don't Like The Jews. Which Is Bugged. I Get My Hair Cut On Dekalb Avenue. I Never Been In A Barbershop And Heard A Bunch Of Brothers Talking About Jews. Black People Don't Hate Jews. Black People Hate White People! We Don't Got Time To Dice White People Up Into Little Groups. I Hate Everybody! I Don't Care If You Just Got Here. "hey, I'm Romanian." "you Romanian Cracker!"

That's All We Had When I Was A Kid: Robitussin. No Matter What You Got, Robitussin Better Handle It. "daddy, I Got Asthma." "robitussin." "i Got Cancer." "robitussin." "i Broke My Leg." Daddy Poured Robitussin On It. "yeah, Boy, Let That 'tussin Get In There. Yeah, Boy, Let That 'tussin Get On Down To The Bone. The 'tussin Ought To Straighten Out The Bone."