You Can't Drown Yourself In Drink. I've

Love Is The Delightful Interval Between Meeting A Beautiful Girl And Discovering That She Looks Like A Haddock.

My Wife Is The Kind Of Girl Who Will Not Go Anywhere Without Her Mother, And Her Mother Will Go Anywhere.

Sex: The Thing That Takes Up The Least Amount Of Time And Causes The Most Amount Of Trouble.

America Is The Country Where You Can Buy A Lifetime Supply Of Aspirin For One Dollar And Use It Up In Two Weeks.

Happiness Often Sneaks In Through A Door You Didn't Know You Left Open.