You Can't Drown Yourself In Drink. I've

I Would Like To Find A Stew That Will Give Me Heartburn Immediately, Instead Of At Three O Clock In The Morning.

You Never Realize How Short A Month Is Until You Pay Alimony.

If It Isn't The Sheriff, It's The Finance Company; I've Got More Attachments On Me Than A Vacuum Cleaner.

Dying Is The Last Thing I Will Ever Do.

My Wife Is The Kind Of Girl Who Will Not Go Anywhere Without Her Mother, And Her Mother Will Go Anywhere.