You Can Have A Revolution Wherever You

A Guy Wanted The Vet To Cut His Dog's Tail Off. The Vet Asked Why. Well, My Mother In Law Is Visiting Next Month And I Want To Eliminate Any Possible Indication That She Is Welcome.

You Never Realize A Dog Is A Man's Best Friend Until You Start Betting On Horses.

The Sole Perfection Which Modern Civilization Attains Is A Mechanical One; Machines Are Splendid And Flawless, But The Life Which Serves Them Or Is Served By Them, Is Neither Superb Nor Brilliant, Nor More Perfect Nor More Graceful; Nor Is The Work Of The Machines Perfect; Only They, The Machines, Are Like Gods.

While We Only Look At Nature It Is Fair To Say That Autumn Is The End Of The Year; But It Is Still More True That Autumn Is The Beginning Of The Year.... Autumn Is The Time When In Fact The Leaves Bud. Leaves Wither Because Winter Begins; But They Also Wither Because Spring Is Already Beginning, Because New Buds Are Being Made, As Tiny As Percussion Caps Out Of Which The Spring Will Crack.... It Is Only An Optical Illusion That My Flowers Die In Autumn; For In Reality They Are Born.

Gentlemen, Four-fifths Of The Earth's Surface Is Covered By Seas; That Is Unquestionably Too Much; The World's Surface, The Map Of Oceans And Dry Land, Must Be Corrected. We Shall Give The World The Workforce Of The Sea, Gentlemen. This Will No Longer Be The Style Of Captain Van Toch; We Shall Replace The Adventure Story Of Pearls By The Hymnic Paean Of Labour.