You Can Be Nasty When You Are

I Have A Hard Time Writing. Most Writers Have A Hard Time Writing. I Have A Harder Time Than Most Because I'm Lazier Than Most. [...] The Other Problem I Have Is Fear Of Writing. The Act Of Writing Puts You In Confrontation With Yourself, Which Is Why I Think Writers Assiduously Avoid Writing. [...] Not Writing Is More Of A Psychological Problem Than A Writing Problem. All The Time I'm Not Writing I Feel Like A Criminal. [...] It's Horrible To Feel Felonious Every Second Of The Day. Especially When It Goes On For Years. It's Much More Relaxing Actually To Work.

Girls Who Put Out Are Tramps. Girls Who Don't Are Ladies. This Is, However, A Rather Archaic Usage Of The Word. Should One Of You Boys Happen Upon A Girl Who Doesn't Put Out, Do Not Jump To The Conclusion That You Have Found A Lady. What You Have Probably Found Is A Lesbian.

Children Ask Better Questions Than Adults. "may I Have A Cookie?" "why Is The Sky Blue?" And "what Does A Cow Say?" Are Far More Likely To Elicit A Cheerful Response Than "where's Your Manuscript?" "why Haven't You Called?" And "who's Your Lawyer?"

There Is No Such Thing As Inner Peace. There Is Only Nervousness Or Death. Any Attempt To Prove Otherwise Constitutes Unacceptable Behavior.

[children Are] Like Talking Animals. Their Consciousness Is So Different From Ours That They Constitute A Different Species. They Don't Have To Be Particularly Interesting Children; Just The Fact That They Are Children Is Sufficient. They Don't Know What Anything Is, So They Have To Make It Up. No Matter How Dull They Are, They Still Have To Figure Things Out For Themselves.