Yesterday In Florida, President Obama Kissed A

I Like Video Games, I Like Tech, I Like Being Positive.

The White House Encouraged Tom Brady To Be More Of A Role Model. They Would've Said More, But There Was A Drunken Secret Service Agent Streaking Across The Rose Garden.

Vladimir Putin Celebrated His 63rd Birthday Today. He Had A Nice Party, But It Got Awkward When Two Of His Friends Got Him The Same Country.

Wearing Shorts Is A Huge Perk. I Think It's Probably One Of The Reasons People Become Mailmen. You Also Get To Drive In That Vehicle That Should Be Illegal In The United States, Where The Steering Wheel Is On The Other Side. They Have No Rules! They Are The Punk Rock Of Government Jobs.

Department Store Santas Are Apparently Being Trained To Lower Children's Expectations About Toys Because Of The Recession. Yeah, It's Weird When You Ask Santa For A Train Set And He's Like, 'yeah, How 'bout A Bus Token?