Yeah Ernie, Its Called Defense, I Mean

I Don't Know What That Gas Is Made Of, But It Can't Smell Any Worse Than Ernie Johnson 's Gym Bag.

If You Go Out With A Girl And They Say She Has A Great Personality, She's Ugly. If They Tell You A Guy Works Hard, He Can't Play A Lick. Same Thing.

I Got Pulled Over When I Was Behind The Wheel Of A Porsche In Philly Once For What We Call Dwb - Driving While Black.

People Say I Eat A Lot. I Really Don't. More Or Less I Just Eat All The Time.

Half Man, Half Sit-out-the-season.