[writing A Joke] There Is No Team

On Tuesday, Utah Candidate Mia Love Became The First Black Republican Woman Elected To Congress. She's Also A Mormon. Yeah, A Black Female Republican Mormon. Even Unicorns Are Saying, 'not Buyin' It.'

Today Russia Announced That It Will Join America's Fight With The Terror Group Isis. Then Putin Said, "but I Did Not Say Which Side.

A Miami Judge Issued Florida's First Gay Marriage License Yesterday, Which Makes It The 36th State To Legally Perform Gay Marriages. Of Course, Most Florida Residents Are Too Old To Understand What That Means. They'll Say, 'well, I Think All Marriages Should Be Gay, And Merry.'

The Key To Happiness. Hm.... There Are Just So Many Factors. I Think It's Just A Way Of Being. It's About.... Every Little Thing In Moderation. Whether It Be Stress, Anger, Joy, Depression.

There's A New Facebook App That Will Post A Final Status Update For You After You Die. That's Ridiculous. I Don't Need Someone To Change My Status When I Die. I Need Them To Water My Farmville Crops.