[writing A Joke] There Is No Team

Director Ken Burns Revealed That His Next Documentary Is About Franklin Roosevelt, And It's Fourteen Hours Long...which Sounds Like Too Much, Until You Realize There's Been Over Thirty Hours Of Tv Dedicated To Honey Boo Boo.

According To A New Poll, 48 Percent Of Americans Believe That Hillary Clinton Is Honest And Trustworthy. Then Hillary Said, 'actually I Just Made That Poll Up.'

Officials At The London Olympics Will Be Conducting 5,000 Tests For Steroids. Or As Lance Armstrong Calls That, 'a Monday.'

Regis Philbin's Back In Primetime, Hosting 11 New Episodes Of 'who Wants To Be A Millionaire.' But Because Of Obama's Tax Plan, It's Been Re-titled 'who Wants To Win Just Under $250,000.'

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo Just Signed A Bill That Bans Powdered Alcohol From The State. So If You Live In New York And You're Consuming Powdered Alcohol, Your Life Just Somehow Got Even Worse.