Today Russia Announced That It Will Join

Arnold Schwarzenegger's Publicist Told Usa Today That The Actor Has Not Ruled Out Running For Governor Of California, Saying That He Will Make A Decision Soon. Reportedly Arnold Needs That Time To Learn How To Pronounce 'gubernatorial.'

Jeb Bush Gave A Speech Yesterday. He Had A Pretty Rough Time. He Accidentally Said That Isis Has 200,000 Men Instead Of 20,000, And Then He Mispronounced The Name Of The Terrorist Group Boko Haram. So If History Has Taught Us Anything, Jeb Is Well On His Way To Winning The White House.

A House Panel In Texas Has Approved Full Marijuana Legalization For The State. Yeah, Meaning Texas Could Go From Having Dude Ranches To 'dude, Ranches.'

President Obama Broke A World Record After He Reached A Million Followers On Twitter In Just Five Hours. The Only Guys Not Following Obama? His Secret Service Agents. They Lost Track Months Ago.

When I Was A Kid, You Would Tune In To "the Tonight Show" Before You Went To Sleep. Johnny Carson. A Big Treat. I Know It's A Privilege Of Mine To Be Able To Be In People's Homes. So I Hope I Make Everyone Proud, Including My Parents, And Do A Good Job In This.