Witty And Mean Is Easy - But

The Doctor: Doctor Song, You've Got That Face On Again. River: What Face? The Doctor: The "he's Hot When He's Clever" Face. River: This Is My Normal Face. The Doctor: Yes It Is. River: Oh, Shut Up. The Doctor: Not A Chance.

River Song: Right, I Have Questions. But Number One Is This: What In The Name Of Sanity Have You Got On Your Head? The Doctor: It's A Fez. I Wear A Fez Now. Fezzes Are Cool.

You Could Only Draw Conclusions About My Personal Sexual Politics If You Proceed From The Assumption That I Was Presenting The Characters As The Way It Is And The Way It Ought To Be. But Both Are Clearly Defined As Deranged – It’s Love Among The Mad. He’s A Psycopath, So Is She. She’s Prepared To Throw Him To The Dogs Until He Works Out The Code, He’s Prepared To Let Her Nearly Get Executed. They’re Not Really Going To Buy A House And A Volvo Together. I’m Not Saying This Is How People Should Date!

The Doctor: I've Seen Bigger. Clara: Really? The Doctor: Are You Joking? It's Massive!

When Writing Comedy, You Have To Have The Confidence To Believe That There Is Only One Type Of Relationship In The World, And We Are All Having It, That All Men Behave In The Same Way And So Do All Women.