Without A Doubt In My Mind, I

So Basically, I Don't Know What I'm Talking About. But Maybe I Do.

If You Ask 99.9 Percent Of Parents Who Have Children With Autism If We'd Rather Have The Measles Versus Autism, We'd Sign Up For The Measles.

People Don't See This Side Of Me. They Don't Know I Read, Like, 800 Million Spiritual Books. Lately I Am Just Really Getting Into A Lot Of Spirituality.

Seven Years I Worked At The Polish Deli. It's A Very Slow Deli. So I Sat Around A Lot On My Stool At The Cashier. And I'd Sign My Autograph On All The Bags I'd Put The Milk In. Just Everyday, Practice My Autograph. And The Manager Of The Store Would Take Some Of Them And Tape Them Against The Wall. And He'd Say, "some Day, I'm Telling You, It Will Be Worth Something." And I'm Like 13, Going, "really?!" And When I Go Back There, He Still Has Them On The Wall. It's Very Cute.

All Those Girls Who Were Mean To Me[in High School], I Pay Them Back By Going Through The Drive-through Window And Asking For My Burger. That Feels Really Great.