Wine, Madam, Is God's Next Best Gift

Prehistoric, Adj. Belonging To An Early Period And A Museum. Antedating The Art And Practice Of Perpetuating Falsehood.

Magnetism, N. Something Acting Upon A Magnet. The Two Definitions Immediately Foregoing Are Condensed From The Works Of One Thousand Eminent Scientists, Who Have Illuminated The Subject With A Great White Light, To The Inexpressible Advancement Of Human Knowledge.

Universalist, N. One Who Forgoes The Advantage Of A Hell For Persons Of Another Faith.

Telephone, N. An Invention Of The Devil Which Abrogates Some Of The Advantages Of Making A Disagreeable Person Keep His Distance.

Ultimatum, N. In Diplomacy, A Last Demand Before Resorting To Concessions.