... Why I Like Timetables, Because They

When I Was 13 Or 14, I Started Devouring Novels; Literature Took Quite A While To Take Me Over, But It Caught Up Just In Time To Save Me From Becoming A Mathematician.

Jane Austen Was Writing About Boring People With Desperately Limited Lives. We Forget This Because We've Seen Too Many Of Her Books On Screen.

Well, We're Meant To Be Writing Stories Today.

The Word "metaphor" Means Carrying Something From One Place To Another . . . And It Is When You Describe Something By Using A Word For Something That It Isn't. This Means That The Word "metaphor" Is A Metaphor. I Think It Should Be Called A Lie Because A Pig Is Not Like A Day And People People Do Not Have Skeletons In Their Cupboards. And When I Try And Make A Picture Of The Phrase In My Head It Just Confuses Me Because Imagining And Apple In Someone's Eye Doesn't Have Anything To Do With Liking Someone A Lot And It Makes You Forget What The Person Was Talking About.

I Went To Boarding School And Then I Went To Oxford, And I Know How Easy It Is For Certain Groups Of People To Become Wholly Insulated From Ordinary Life.