Who Needs Drugs When You Have Takeshi's

British Fans Are Exceptional, But The American Fans Are Something Else. Some Of Them Fly 500 Miles To Stand In Line For Three Hours, Just To Meet Me, Then When They Do They Collapse.

Once Journalists Have Been Rifling Through Your Dustbins, You Do Try And Keep Them At Arms' Length.

Critics Called Me 'egregious' - I Had To Look That One Up - And 'creepy', But Now I Don't Read Them, I Weigh Them.

I Have A Stepladder. It's A Very Nice Stepladder But It's Sad That I Never Knew My Real Ladder.

I've Got Wealth And Fame But I Haven't Changed My Roots.