Who Needs Drugs When You Have Takeshi's

I've Got Wealth And Fame But I Haven't Changed My Roots.

British Fans Are Exceptional, But The American Fans Are Something Else. Some Of Them Fly 500 Miles To Stand In Line For Three Hours, Just To Meet Me, Then When They Do They Collapse.

For Me, Everything Has Always Been An Accident.

It's Evolve Or Die, Really, You Have To Evolve, You Have To Move On Otherwise It Just Becomes Stagnant.

Prison Widens Your Circle Of Friends. In My Stand-up, I Can Now Talk About Things That No One Else Has The Right To Touch.