When You Write About Real Life, There's

If A Character Dies, You Get To Do A Big, Juicy Death Scene. But The Flip Side Is You're Out Of The Sequel, Which Is Where The Real Money Is.

I Can't Text. My Fingers Are Too Big.

Vacuuming Is Great. I Do The Laundry. I Love Washing Machines. I'm The Maid In My House.

This Is The Most Exciting Place In The World To Live. Oh Yeah! There Are So Many Ways To Die In New York City! Race Riots, Drive By Shootings, Subway Crashes, Construction Cranes Collapsing On The Sidewalks, Manhole Covers Blowing Up And Asbestos Shooting Into The Sky.

I've Been Nominated For Emmys And Golden Globes, But I've Never Won One And I Probably Never Will.