When You Make A Decision You Need

We Regret The Insinuation That Mr. Alex Trebek Is A Robot, And Has Been Since 2004. Mr. Trebek's Robotic Frame Does Still Contain Some Organic Parts, Many Harvested From Patriotic Canadian Schoolchildren, So This Technically Makes Him A 'cyborg,' Not A 'robot.'

I Would Stare At Maps Of Delaware For Hours.

I Always Bring My Kids Vacation Souvenirs Printed In Comic Sans, So They Know I Love Them But Not Unconditionally.

I Threw The Opening Pitch At A Blue Jays Game, And After The Pitch, The Mascot Asked Me If I Wanted Him To Sign The Game Ball, Which I Thought Was Funny. What Would He Write? "best Wishes, Some Guy In A Bird Suit"?"

I Would Read The Atlas For Pleasure. I Knew It Was Weird. It Was Weird.