When You Don’t Have Much, Having Less

For My Entire Life I Longed For Love. I Knew It Was Not Right For Me — As A Girl And Later As A Woman — To Want Or Expect It, But I Did, And This Unjustified Desire Has Been At The Root Of Every Problem I Have Experienced In My Life.

All These Types Of Love Come Out Of Duty, Respect, And Gratitude. Most Of Them, As The Women In My County Know, Are Sources Of Sadness, Rupture, And Brutality.

What Stays With Me Most Is A General Sense Of Loss, Unease, And Longing For The Past That Cannot Be Relieved.

Obey, Obey, Obey, Then Do What You Want.

I Would Rather Be Married To Broken Jade Than Flawless Clay