When Those Waiters Ask Me If I

Let's Face It, Though, Anything That's Apt To Happen To An Appliance Like A Blender Isn't Covered By The Warranty Anyway, So I Never Send Them In. If It Breaks, I'll Buy A New One. That's The American Way.

Obscenities... I Think A Lot Of Dumb People Do It Because They Can't Think Of What They Want To Say And They're Frustrated. A Lot Of Smart People Do It To Pretend They Aren't Very Smart - Want To Be Just One Of The Boys.

Taxes Are Important. President Bush's Tax Proposals Leave No Rich Person Behind. Voters Approve Of President Bush Helping The Kind Of People They Wish They Were One Of.

I Think Dan [rather] Is Transparently Liberal. Now He May Not Like To Hear Me Say That. I Always Agree With Him, Too. But I Think He Should Be More Careful.

I Spent My First 50 Years Trying To Become Known As A Writer And The Next 30 Trying To Avoid Being Famous. I Walk Down The Street Or Go To A Football Game And People Shout, 'hey Andy'. I Hate That.