When Telling A Story About How Wasted

There Are Jokes I Know I Want To Tell, And There's Sort Of A Rough Order, But Usually I Try To Change It Up Every Show, To Improvise And Talk With The Audience. I Think When You Tell Jokes, If You're Not Careful, You Can End Up Telling The Whole List Of Jokes And Then That's It. And That Can Get A Little Boring.

I Think Hair Gel Was Invented To Make It Easier To Identify Assholes From A Distance.

Stand Up Is Really Fun Because If I Think Of A Joke Or A Funny Idea, Then I Can Just Go And Tell Some People And If They Laugh, They Laugh Right Away.

The Chances Of Someone Who Looks Like Jesus Having Pot Raises Steadily, To A Point. If The Guy Is On A Cross You May Have The Wrong Guy.

I'm Not A Lawmaker, But I Was Thinking That If You Have A Really Loud Ring Tone, Maybe You Should Be Stabbed In The Ear?