When Someone Describes Themself As A Taxpayer,

A Drunk Driver Is Very Dangerous. So Is A Drunk Backseat Driver If He's Persuasive.

If You Are Trying To Impress A Woman, Leave Any Sort Of Show Farting Out Of The Equation.

I Want To Commit A Crime During A Reenactment, And Turn It Into An Enactment.

I Was Thinking How Strange It Is That Water Is One Of The Best, Simplest Things On This Planet, And Still With A Simple Glass Of Water You Can Neutralize So Many Of The Greatest Technological Advances That We Provide. Like With My Blackberry, I Can Get In Touch With So Many People, But If I Dip It In A Small Glass Of Water I'm Completely Disconnected.

I Saw A Sign That Said, 'watch For Children.' I Was Like, 'that Sounds Like A Fair Trade - Especially If They're Crappy Kids.'