When People Say England, They Sometimes Mean

Israelis Keep Teaching You Your Own Business. God Knows Everything But The Israelis Know Everything Better.

Jokes Are Better Than War. Even The Most Aggressive Jokes Are Better Than The Least Aggressive Wars. Even The Longest Jokes Are Better Than The Shortest Wars.

In Moscow They Do Not Pay Much Attention To The Living But Keep Their Cemeteries In A Splendid State.

If Somebody Tells You An Obviously Untrue Story, On The Continent You Would Remark, "you Are A Liar, Sir, And A Rather Dirty One At That." In England You Just Say "oh, Is That So?" Or "that's Rather An Unusual Story, Isn't It?

Bargaining Is A Repulsive Habit; Compromise Is One Of The Highest Human Virtues - The Difference Between The Two Being That The First Is Practised On The Continent, The Latter In Great Britain.