Pity? You Don't Want To Be Pitied

The Young Man Who's Had The Guggenheim Fortune Behind Him All His Life - He Can Hire All The Authorities On The Subject To Teach Him How To Do A Monologue, But He's Never Going To Have The Right Stuff To Pull It Off. If He Doesn't Walk Out Onstage Needing To Walk Out There, He Doesn't Have A Dream Of Doing Well.

I've Had Great Success Being A Total Idiot.

When I Was Onstage Doing The Work, Adrenaline Killed The Pain Because I Never Hurt In Front Of An Audience.

I Have Nothing Against Women. As A Matter Of Fact There's Something About Them That I Love, But I Just Can't Put My Finger On It.

People Hate Me Because I Am A Multifaceted, Talented, Wealthy, Internationally Famous Genius.