When Michael Jordan Quit, I Suddenly Found

It's Been My Policy To View The Internet Not As An 'information Highway,' But As An Electronic Asylum Filled With Babbling Loonies.

Anyone Who Contributes To The Defense Fund Of Pornographers Is A Mental Moonbeam.

A Pessimist Sees The Glass As Half Empty; A Cub Fan Wonders When It's Gonna Spill.

All That Proves Is That Most Of The World Is Too Poor To Build Bowling Alleys, Golf Courses, Tennis Courts And Baseball Fields. There's Hundreds Of Millions Of Poor People Out There Who Still Ain't Got Indoor Plumbing, But That Don't Mean There's Something Great About An Outhouse. Soccer Is Boring. I've Never Seen A More Boring Sport.

Contrary To Popular Belief. It's Much Wiser To Take Money From The Poor Than The Rich.