When Men Break Up They Want To

I Have A Hold Limit That I've Set For Myself. I Hold Until I Start To Imagine Myself Killing The Person On The Other End. Then I Hang Up And Regroup.

Wives Are People Who Think It's Against The Law Not To Answer The Phone When It Rings.

You Know The Oxygen Masks On Airplanes? I Don't Think There's Really Any Oxygen. I Think They're Just To Muffle The Screams.

Men Forget Everything; Women Remember Everything. That's Why Men Need Instant Replay In Sports. They've Already Forgotten What's Happened.

I'm Not Sure If My Husband Is Going To Be There When I Actually Have The Baby. He Said The Only Way He's Going To Be In The Room When There's A Delivery Is If There's A Pizza Involved.