When Men Break Up They Want To

I Can See Close Up And My Husband Can See Far Away, So We're Covered. He Tells Me Who's In The Movie And I Tell Him What's In His Sandwich. Together We're Human Bifocals.

I'm Not Sure If My Husband Is Going To Be There When I Actually Have The Baby. He Said The Only Way He's Going To Be In The Room When There's A Delivery Is If There's A Pizza Involved.

Men Forget Everything; Women Remember Everything. That's Why Men Need Instant Replay In Sports. They've Already Forgotten What's Happened.

Men Love To Be The First To Read The Newspaper In The Morning. Not Being The First Is Upsetting To Their Psyches.

I'm Going To Start Water Skiing Someday...as Soon As I Can Separate It From Being Dragged By A Boat.