When I Was 15 Years Old, I

The Worst Team In Baseball's History Won Only 55 Games. The Best Team Ever Won 110 Out Of 160, So You're Virtually Guaranteed To Win 1/3 Of The Time And Lose 1/3 Of The Time. The Difference Is The 1/3 In The Middle. You Don't Know What Bucket The Game You're Playing Falls Into, So If You're Smart, You'll Fight Like Everything For All Of Them.

Sometimes You've Just Got To Let An Umpire Know That You're Not Satisfied With His Decision. That They've Missed The Play In Your Opinion. Not That It's Going To Do You Any Good, But You've Got To Let Them Know.

It Is A Great Honor To Be Inducted Into The Pacific Coast League Hall Of Fame. When You Honor Me With This Distinction, You Really Honor The Players Who Put Me There. All Of The Honors I Receive Became A Reality Only Through The Contributions Of My Players. In Addition To Myself, You Also Honor My Family And The Dodger Organization. I Accept This Recognition With Pride And Gratitude.

The Gym Teacher's Name Was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso Did Not Speak English. He Spoke 'gym.' One Day I Was Playing Basketball And Mr. Caruso Told Me I Would Have To Get An Athletic Supporter. He Didn't Express Himself Exactly That Way, Though. He Said, 'hey, You, One Day You're Gonna Go Up For A Rebound And The Family Jewels Aren't Gonna Go With Ya.' I Had No Idea What He Was Talking About. Next Day I Showed Up For Practice Without My Watch And My Mezuzah. He Said, 'did Ya Take Care Of The Family Jewels?' I Said, 'i Left 'em In My Locker.' Took Us A Half Hour To Revive Mr. Caruso.

No, We Don't Cheat. And Even If We Did, I'd Never Tell You.