When I Was In Vegas Women Were

I Drink Coffee With My Right Hand, And I Smoke With My Left. But I Talk With Both Hands.

Happiness? A Good Cigar, A Good Meal, A Good Cigar And A Good Woman - Or A Bad Woman; It Depends On How Much Happiness You Can Handle.

Let Me Get One Thing Straight; I'm Not An Authority On Sex, I'm More Of A Fan. I Think Sex Is Nice; No Family Should Be Without It. Of Course, There Are Other Things That Are Just As Important As Sex, Like Uh . . . Like Uh . . . Like . . . Uh . . . Well, I'll Think Of It Later.

If You Were Married To Marilyn Monroe, You'd Cheat With Some Ugly Girl.

There Are Two Kinds Of Cruises - Pleasure And With Children.