When I Was In Vegas Women Were

People Ask Me What I'd Most Appreciate Getting For My Eighty-seventh Birthday. I Tell Them, A Paternity Suit.

There Are Two Kinds Of Cruises - Pleasure And With Children.

Happiness Is A Dry Martini And A Good Woman ... Or A Bad Woman.

I Honestly Think It Is Better To Be A Failure At Something You Love Than To Be A Success At Something You Hate.

Everyday Happiness Means Getting Up In The Morning, And You Can't Wait To Finish Your Breakfast. You Can't Wait To Do Your Exercises. You Can't Wait To Put On Your Clothes. You Can't Wait To Get Out. And You Can't Wait To Come Home, Because The Soup Is Hot.