When I Was A Kid, I Had

Some People Can Seem Perfect... Everything About Them Can, On Paper, Be Just Right. Until You Get To Know Them. Really Know Them. Then You Find Out, In The End, While They Might Be Perfect To Every One Else, They Just Aren't Right For You.

You Know," I Said, Holding My Ground. "i Gotta Tell You. The Goatee Thing? Yeah, Way Over. And You Know A Little Jewelry Really Does Go A Long Way. Just Something You Might Want To Consider. I'm Actually Glad You Stopped By, Because I Have A Couple Things I've Been Meaning To Say To You. Number One, About Your Wife? Yeah, She's A Skank. And Number Two, You Know That Whole Thing Where You Killed Jesse And Then Buried His Remains Out Back There? Yeah, Way Un-cool.

To Achieve Self Actualization, Do Good Things For Other People That You Would Want To Be Done Onto Yourself

And Standing Before Me A Bloodied Bottle Of Absolut In Her Hand, Is Mrs. Allington, Her Pink Jogging Suit Drenched, Her Chest Heaving, Her Eyes Filled With Contempt As She Stared Down At Rachel's Prone Body. Mrs. Allington Shakes Her Head. "i'm A Size Twelve," She Says.

I've Come To The Conclusion That, Aside From Nazis, The Taliban, And Possibly The Honey Badger, There Is No One On The Planet More Merciless Than A Teenage Girl Once She's Decided She Dislikes You.