When I Turned About 12 Or 13,

On My First Day In New York A Guy Asked Me If I Knew Where Central Park Was. When I Told Him I Didn't, He Said: Do You Mind If I Mug You Here?

I Don't Always Vote In General Elections, But I Think I've Always Voted Labour.

At One Point In The Mid-eighties I Shared A Promoter With The Smiths. One Night, We Were Sitting Backstage When Morrissey Burst In, Utterly Distraught, Sobbing His Heart Out. Turns Out Someone Had Thrown A Sausage At Him On Stage During 'meat Is Murder.'

When I Used To Do The Edinburgh Festival, There Was A Bunch Of Guys Selling Fresh Oysters And I'd Eat Ten Daily - Marvellous.

In Fact, I Don't Watch A Lot Of Contemporary Comedy For Fear Of Being Influenced By It.