When I Say 'friends,' I Use That

I Recently Forced Myself To Read A Book On Quantum Physics, Just To Try And Learn Something New. I Was Confused By The Middle Of The First Sentence And It All Went Downhill From There. The Only Thing I Can Remember Learning Is That A Parallel Universe Can Theoretically Be Contained On The Head Of A Needle. I Don't Really Know What That Means, But I Am Now More Careful Handling Needles.

Brits Have A Better Sense Of Humor In Most Ways. It's Darker, More Cutting.

I Was A Lawyer For 10 Years, And When Youre In Law, Things Really Have To Get Done, Or Somebody Sues You. Its A Great Trick.

A Stand-up Comedian Faces The Audiences And Gets Their Immediate Feedback. I Hide Behind The Comic Strip, And Unless People Write To Me, I Dont Know What They Think.

Whenever I See People With Their Collars Up, I'm Tempted To Point It Out To Them Like You Would For Someone Who Has A Food Stain On Their Shirt Or Food In Their Teeth, As If To Say, 'your Fashion Sense Is So Offensive I'm Assuming It's Some Sort Of Accident You'll Want To Fix.