When I Say 'friends,' I Use That

Sticking To My Schedule, Ive Gotten Over Seven Months Ahead, Which Allowed Me To Write A Pearls Before Swine Movie Script For The Big Screen.

I Was A Lawyer For 10 Years, And When Youre In Law, Things Really Have To Get Done, Or Somebody Sues You. Its A Great Trick.

I Recently Forced Myself To Read A Book On Quantum Physics, Just To Try And Learn Something New. I Was Confused By The Middle Of The First Sentence And It All Went Downhill From There. The Only Thing I Can Remember Learning Is That A Parallel Universe Can Theoretically Be Contained On The Head Of A Needle. I Don't Really Know What That Means, But I Am Now More Careful Handling Needles.

It's Best To Love Your Family As You Would A Siberian Tiger-from A Distance, Preferably Separated By Bars.

A Stand-up Comedian Faces The Audiences And Gets Their Immediate Feedback. I Hide Behind The Comic Strip, And Unless People Write To Me, I Dont Know What They Think.