When I Read Books It's To Escape.

I Don't Want Someone Shoving His Views Down My Throat, Unless They're Covered In A Crunchy Candy Shell.

I'll Make Fun Of Anybody. We're All About Falling Down And Going Boom On Camera.

What The Right-wing In The United States Tries To Do Is Undermine The Press.

It's A Game. That's Why We Call It 'the News.' It's Just A Game.

If I Had One Wish, It Would Be For Self-drying Pants. Wait -- No! Unlimited Wishes! How Do I Return These Stupid Pants?!