When I Make A Joke, Nobody Gets

Heroing Is One Of The Shortest-lived Professions There Is.

The Way To Make Money In The Stock Market Is To Buy A Stock. Then, When It Goes Up, Sell It. If It's Not Going To Go Up, Don't Buy It!

Every Time A Woman Leaves Off Something She Looks Better, But Every Time A Man Leaves Off Something He Looks Worse.

Legalize Racing In Every State. Sure People Will Bet, But They Get To See The Horses Run And You Certain Can't See General Motors And General Electric And General Utility Run When You Bet On Them.

You Know You Are Getting Old When Everything Either Dries Up Or Leaks.