When Did The Cell Phone Become A

I Would Rather Receive A Pap Smear From Captain Hook Than Venture Out On New Year's Eve.

No, It's Not A 'corpse Thing.' I Feel I Lack The Emotional Capacity To Deal With Those In Mourning.

In Real Life, I Tend To Yell At People A Lot. Not Because I'm Bossy Or Mean, But Because I'm Frustrated.

Really? If I Could Hate My Trainer? That Would Be Ideal. I'd Prefer To Despise This Person With The Fire Of Ten Thousand Suns. So When I Walk - Nay, Crawl - Out Of Here At The End Of My Workouts, I Want To Lull Myself To Sleep By Picturing My Very Talented And Inspirational Trainer Getting Hit By A Bus. A Bus That I Am Driving.

Fletch Then Kisses Me On The Forehead Before Opening The Cabinet Under The Coffeemaker To Grab Placemats And Napkins. Retrieving These Items Is His Job Because I Kind Of Don't Like To Bend. I Also Refuse To Carry Anything Heavier Than My Purse.