What The Hell, I'll Just Eat Some

The Olympics Is My Favourite Sporting Event. Although I Have A Problem With That Silver Medal. When You Think About It, You Win The Gold - You Feel Good, You Win The Bronze - You Think, 'well At Least I Got Something'. But When You Win Silver, It's Like, 'congratulations, You 'almost' Won. Of All The Losers, You Came In First Of That Group. You're The Number One 'loser.' No One Lost Ahead Of You.

Seems To Me The Basic Conflict Between Men And Women, Sexually, Is That Men Are Like Firemen. To Men, Sex Is An Emergency, And No Matter What We're Doing We Can Be Ready In Two Minutes. Women, On The Other Hand, Are Like Fire. They're Very Exciting, But The Conditions Have To Be Exactly Right For It To Occur.

People Should Get Married Because They Have Finally Seen The Folly Of Being Single: "oh, This Is All Just Kind Of A Bad Magic Trick. I Just Keep Bending Over To Reach For This Wallet On A String. How Much Longer Am I Gonna Do That?"

Life Is Truly A Ride. We're All Strapped In And No One Can Stop It.... I Think That The Most You Can Hope For At The End Of Life Is That Your Hair's Messed, You're Out Of Breath, And You Didn't Throw Up.

I Have A Problem With The Strip That Runs Along The Bottom Of The News Programs. Don't These Idiots Who Run The News Programs Know We Don't Want To Read? That's Why We're Watching Tv.