What Is "martinizing" And Why Does It

Stop Saying Athletes Do It For The Love Of The Game. They Do It For The Love Of Their 32-room Mansion With The Live Shark Tank In The Living Room. If Pro Sports Paid Minimum Wage, Shaquille O'neal Would Be A Bouncer At Scores, And Anna Kournikova Would Be A Mail-order Bride From Minsk.

What Is With This Campy Fixation On All Things Ronald Reagan? They Talk About Him The Way Gay People Talk About Barbra Streisand. I Think They Want Him On A Stamp So They Can Lick His Ass. I Think They Wanted To Name Airports After Him So They Can Say, "i'm Coming Into Reagan!"

When I Was In High School The Worst Thing You Could Ever Get Was Vd. Talk About The Sniffles! I Just Want To Meet An Old-fashioned Girl With Gonorrhea.

Mitt Romney, Who Is On Record Saying That He Would Not Waste Money Going After Bin Laden, And On Record Saying He Would Not Violate Pakistan's Border To Get Bin Laden, This Week Said, 'of Course I Would Have Gotten Bin Laden.' Even His Etch-a-sketch Went, Seriously?

The Senate Decided They Will Be Smoke-free. They Ordained That All Public Areas In The Senate Are Now Smoke-free. However, The Senators Themselves Will Still Be Allowed To Blow Smoke Up Each Other's Asses.