What I Believe In Is Love Your

One Of The Reasons I Still Do Stand-up Is Because It Was So Hard In The Beginning That I Feel Like It Would Be Such A Shame Not To Redeem It That It's All Fun.

The Democrats Are Very Bad At Selling Their Own Product. The Republicans Are Geniuses At It. And I've Said It Before, A Bad Product Well Apologized For Is Superior In This Country To A Good Product.

Edward Snowden Gave A Little Press Conference Today. He Is Apparently Seeking Temporary Asylum In Russia. Because, You Know, When You're Tired Of The Government Snooping Into Everything You Do, Putin's Russia Is Definitely The Place You Want To Go.

I'm Not Defending What Cory Booker Said. I'm Saying I Understand Why He Has To Kiss The Asses Of The Rich People On Wall Street, Because There's No Other Way To Keep His City Afloat.

Some People Think I Enjoy Debate. I Don't. I Wish Everyone Agreed With Me; It Would Save A Lot Of Time.