What Happened To The Good Old Days

Breaking Up: It's So Easy To Return Their Possessions, But So Hard To Get Our Brain Cells Back.

Small Wastebasket Liners, $1.17 ... Tall Wastebasket Liners, $2.29 ... Garbage Can Liners, $3.98 ... I Think I Just Spent $7.44 Buying Something I'm Going To Throw Away.

All Parents Believe Their Children Can Do The Impossible. They Thought It The Minute We Were Born, And No Matter How Hard We've Tried To Prove Them Wrong, They All Think It About Us Now. And The Really Annoying Thing Is, They're Probably Right.

My Dog Was With Me All The Time. I Talked To My Dog. She Was My Best Buddy. I Shared All My Secrets With Her, But I Don't Think I Every Really Tried Jokes Out With The Dog.

I'm More Financially Successful, But It Just Means The Shopping Blunders I Make Are Bigger Now.