Well, Fancy Giving Money To The Government!

The Rain Is Plentious But, By God's Decree, Only A Third Is Meant For You And Me; Two-thirds Are Taken By The Growing Things Or Vanish Heavenward On Vapour's Wings: Nor Does It Mathematically Fall With Social Equity On One And All. The Population's Habit Is To Grow In Every Region Where The Water's Low: Nature Is Blamed For Failings That Are Man's, And Well-run Rivers Have To Change Their Plans.

The Portions Of A Woman Which Appeal To Man's Depravity Are Constructed With Considerable Care.

For I Must Write To The Times Tonight, And Save The World From Sin.

The Critical Period Of Matrimony Is Breakfast-time.

A Dull Speaker, Like A Plain Woman, Is Credited With All The Virtues, For We Charitably Suppose That A Surface So Unattractive Must Be Compensated By Interior Blessings.