Weight Is A Glanduar Thing, As Well

Real People Are Good And Grumpy. They're Nice And Mean. And I Come From A Nice And Mean Family. My Mom Was Nice, And My Dad Was Mean. So I Would've Served Myself A Lot Better If Louie Lundgren Would've Blown Up At Some Of The People He Was Talking To. I Think It Would've Really Served Everybody Better. We'd Probably Still Be On The Air!

I Started A Big Part Of My Career In Vegas.

Let Me Tell You About My Family.

God And The Universe Said To Me One Day, "you're Only Going To Get What's Good For You." That's Kind Of How I Try To Look At Things. Isn't That True, When You Look Back At Things? "ooh, I'm Glad I Didn't Get That!" You Get More Philosophical When You Get Older, With The More Life Experiences You Have. But I Don't Have Any Bad Feelings Towards Anybody That Was Ever Involved In Any Of That Stuff, Because I Don't Think That People Usually Set Out To Hurt You. I Think That Hurt Is All Manufactured By Yourself And Your Expectations.

I'm A Kid From Minnesota. I Like Seeing Movie Stars! So I'm There At The Ivy, I've Got My Shrimp, Eddie Murphy Comes In With His Gang. I Said To The Waiter, As Any Good Midwestern Boy Would, "hey, Put Eddie's Check On My American Express Card, But Don't Tell Him That I Did It 'til I'm Gone." Next Day I Got A Call From Manager Who Said, "eddie's Doing A Movie, He Was Very Impressed That You Bought Him Lunch." So Remember: Sometimes Buying People Lunch Can Really Work Out Well For You.