We Parents Ask Dumb Questions, Therefore We

When The Child Is Twelve, Your Wife Buys Her A Splendidly Silly Article Of Clothing Called A Training Bra. To Train What? I Never Had A Training Jock. And Believe Me, When I Played Football, I Could Have Used A Training Jock More Than Any Twelve-year-old Needs A Training Bra.

There Are Certain Times Of The Day When You Need A Balance - That Is, Your Protein And Your Carbs. I'm A Barry Sears Man. I Believe That Anything Green Is A Carb, And I Need 2:1. Two Of The Carbs To One Of The Protein.

The Most Important Educational Vehicle In All Life Is A Parent Figure.

Repeat After Me. I Promise Not To Run Outside Of The House. I Promise Not To Run Inside Of The House. I Promise Not To Touch, Pick Up, Step On, Anything That Looks Interesting.

I'm A Christian. But Muslims Are Misunderstood. Intentionally Misunderstood. We Should All Be More Like Them.