We Inadvertently Bombed The Chinese Embassy. But

There's A Turkey Shortage. Are You Aware Of That Fact? There's Also A Gravy Shortage. It's Up To $4 A Gallon. Governor Chris Christie Wants To Build A Gravy Pipeline.

I Don't Like Stand-up Comedy That Requires A Lot Of Props. I Really Respect People Who Can Walk Out Onstage Alone And With No Other Tool But Their Own Minds And Can Make You Laugh And Maybe Even Think A Little.

Former President Bill Clinton Is On The Program Tonight. He Says That While His Wife Runs For President, He Would Like To Stay Out Of The Limelight. Well, He's Certainly Come To The Right Place. He'll Be Fine Here.

Newt Gingrich Had A Horrible Week In The Iowa Caucuses. Only 13 Percent Of His Ex-wives Voted For Him.

President Obama And His Wife Are Going To Kenya. Donald Trump Said, 'while You're There, Pick Up Your Birth Certificate.'