We Don't Have To Fix Anything.

I Thought My Teeth Were White Until I Washed My Face With Noxzema. My Teeth Are Off-white. I'm Not Even White. I'm Off-white. It's A New Race; We Will Prevail!

Mitch”, But Then Reattach It And Call It “mitch-all-together.

I Make Myself A Bowl Of Instant Oatmeal, And Then I Don't Do Anything For An Hour. Why Do I Need The Instant Oatmeal? I Could Get The Regular Oatmeal And Feel Productive.

That Would Be Cool If The Earth's Crust Was Made Out Of Graham Cracker. It Would Disappear Just Like The Ozone Layer, But For Completely Different Reasons.

I Had A Stick Of Carefree Gum, But It Didn't Work. I Felt Pretty Good While I Was Blowing That Bubble, But As Soon As The Gum Lost Its Flavor, I Was Back To Pondering My Mortality.