We Don't Have To Fix Anything.

If A Drink Was Ice Cold, It Would Be Impossible To Drink. Because It Would Be Solid. Here's A Drink, Mitch - It's Ice Cold. I Guess I Could Lick It.

I Went To England To Tell Jokes, And I Wanted To Tell My Smokey The Bear Joke, But I Had To Ask The English People If They Knew Who Smokey The Bear Is. But They Don't. In England, Smokey The Bear Is Not The Forest-fire-prevention Representative. They Have Smackie The Frog. It's A Lot Like A Bear, But It's A Frog. And That's A Better System, I Think We Should Adopt It. Because Bears Can Be Mean, But Frogs Are Always Cool. Never Has There Been A Frog Hopping Toward Me And I Thought, "man, I Better Play Dead!"

Y'know, You Can't Please All The People All The Time... And Last Night, All Those People Were At My Show.

I Went To The Airport, I Put My Bag In The X-ray Machine, I Found Out My Bag Has Cancer. It Only Has Six More Months To Hold Stuff.

Fettucini Alfredo Is Macaroni And Cheese For Adults.