We Are Human, Which Means We Have

Our Most Basic Emotional Need Is Not To Fall In Love But To Be Genuinely Loved By Another, To Know A Love That Grows Out Of Reason And Choice, Not Instinct. I Need To Be Loved By Someone Who Chooses To Love Me, Who Sees In Me Something Worth Loving.

I Hope The Reader's Sense That I Am Deeply Empathetic With The Pain Of Being In A Desperate Marriage, But I Also Believe That The Person Who Is Married To The Abuser Or The Alcoholic Or Whomever Has The Greatest Potential For Helping Them.

Requests Give Direction To Love, But Demands Stop The Flow Of Love.

I Think One Of The Myths Is That People Don't Change. A Lot Of People Believe That. Their Spouse Has Been An Alcoholic For The First 10 Years Of The Marriage, And They Say They Are Never Going To Change.

Over The Long Haul, Many Of Those People [in A Difficult Marriage] Will Begin To Reciprocate, Because You Are Meeting A Basic Need In Their Life, The Need For Love, And They Know They Don't Deserve Love Many Times.