We All Know That Small Cars Are

In The Olden Days I Always Got The Impression That Tvr Built A Car, Put It On Sale, And Then Found Out How It Handled. Usually When One Of Their Customers Wrote To The Factory Complaining About How Dead He Was.

I Was Reading The Mirror The Other Day And Came Across A Letter From A Reader Who Wrote, 'i Was Riding My Bike To Work When This Red Ferrari Pulled Up Next To Me. Out Of The Window, Jeremy Clarkson Shouted 'get A Car', And Drove Off.' What I Actually Said Was, 'get A Car You Hatchet Faced, Leaf-eating Tw*t

They Are By Far The Worst Drivers. They Are Spiteful, Dithering, Old And In The Way. They Should Have Their Licences Taken Away.

I Have A Pathological Terror Of Falling Through Ice. I Nearly Drowned Once. I Fell Off A Boat And Got A Cramp, And Was Rescued By An Oil-rig Diver, A Great Bear Of A Man Who Simply Leant Into The Water And Scooped Me Out With One Finger.

Asking The Front Wheels Of A Car To Do Their Normal Job Of Steering While Handling More Than 170 Is Like Asking A Man To Wire A Plug While Juggling. Penguins. While Making Love. To A Beautiful Woman While On Fire, On Stage. In Front Of The Queen. It's All Going To Go Wrong.