Warmth Is To Sun, As Truth Is

I'm More American Than Apple Pie. I'm Like Apple Pie, With A Hot Dog In It.

I Live By Syllogisms: God Is Love. Love Is Blind. Stevie Wonder Is Blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder Is God. I Don't Know What I'd Believe In If It Wasn't For That.

John Boehner Will Be The New Speaker Unless, Out Of Habit, He Blocks His Own Confirmation.

It's Much Better To Invite The Audience To Be Part Of Your Show Rather Than Saying, "i Command You To Do This." The Other Thing Is, You Have To Follow Through. If You Initiate A Game And They Take Part, You Can't Stop Until It Reaches A Mutually Satisfying Resolution.

‎you Cannot Correct An Old Person Every Time They Say Something Offensive. You Would Never Make It Through Thanksgiving Dinner!