Valentine's Day Money-saving Tip: Break Up On

Hookers In Times Square, God Bless 'em, Are Offering A Mitt Romney Special. For An Extra $20 They'll Change Positions.

Do You Remember When You Found Out There Was No Santa Claus? I Was So Upset I Didn't Think I'd Be Able To Do The Show.

President Obama's Trying To Work Out A Nuclear Deal With Iran, And The Republicans Are Steamed. They Got Together And Sent Iran A Letter About The Nuclear Deal. They Said If This Doesn't Work, By God, They're Going To Send Seth Rogen And James Franco.

They're Saying Now That Rick Santorum Is Gaining Momentum Because He's Not Romney. And Mitt Romney Was Furious. He Replied, 'well, I Can Do That.

It's Disappointing When You Finally Get To Meet Someone You Admire And He Conducts Himself As A Jerk.