Usually I Commit To Something In My

I Thought You Were Dead, Mr. Mccandles.

Life Is Like A Ferrari, It Goes Too Fast. But That's Ok, Because You Can't Afford It Anyway.

An Imagination Is A Powerful Tool. It Can Tint Memories Of The Past, Shade Perceptions Of The Present, Or Paint A Future So Vivid That It Can Entice... Or Terrify, All Depending Upon How We Conduct Ourselves Today.

Life Is Like A Hot Bath. It Feels Good While You're In It, But The Longer You Stay, The More Wrinkled You Get.

My Dream In Life Is To Write The One Gag That Makes Everyone In The World Laugh.