Twitter Is The Devil's Playground.

All Improv Turns Into Anger. All Comedy Improv Basically Turns Into Anger, Because That's All People Know How To Do When They're Improvising. If You Notice Shows That Are Improvising Are Generally People Yelling At Each Other.

I'm Not Interesting Enough On My Own That You'd Want To See A Film About Me.

If You Look At The Best-seller List For American Fiction, They're All Sequels To Detective Stories Or Stories About Hunting Serial Killers. That's What's Called American Fiction These Days.

I've Seen The Future! It's A Bald-headed Man From New York!

Your Spouse Should Be Just Attractive Enough To Turn You On. Anything More Is Trouble.